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Asylum-seeking Albanians are laughing at us

If Albania is considered a safe holiday destination for thousands of Britons, why do so many of its citizens come to the UK?

Durres beach, Albania: crystal clear waters, exclusive beach clubs, a glass of white wine for £1.70... Albania is basically Greece
Durres beach, Albania: crystal clear waters, exclusive beach clubs, a glass of white wine for £1.70... Albania is basically Greece Credit: GENT SHKULLAKU

The new hot spot for British tourists looking for a bargain holiday is Albania. Crystal clear waters, exclusive beach clubs, a glass of white wine for £1.70. Albania is basically Greece before it foolishly joined the Euro and doubled its prices.

Sounds like heaven. How curious, then, to learn that Albanians make up a large percentage of the migrants in small boats crossing the Channel every day. According to the Refugee Council, of the 48,540 applications for asylum in the UK in 2021, Albania had the fourth-highest number, behind Iran, Iraq and Eritrea. There were fewer refugees from war-scarred Syria than Albania!

If Albania is considered a safe holiday destination for thousands of Britons why do so many of its citizens come to the UK to seek, er, safety?  Apparently, many Albanian asylum seekers make claims for reasons such as domestic violence and sexual abuse, human trafficking, political persecution and “problems with criminals”.

Sorry, I don’t wish to be rude, but I rather think it’s the UK that has “problems with criminals”. Albanian criminals in particular. The Albanian Mafia plays a huge role in our criminal underworld, well on its way to total domination of the UK’s multi-billion pound cocaine trade according to the National Crime Agency.

What do you reckon the chances are that some of the poor, importunate, yet somehow startlingly burly Albanian gents scrambling ashore in Kent and claiming to need asylum here are actually after the Ferrari and gold Rolex lifestyle enjoyed by earlier Albanian “asylum seekers”?

The cost of housing asylum seekers in British hotels is currently an eye-watering £3 million a day. Small change to an Albanian drug lord, obviously, but rather a lot for a country where many people will shortly struggle to afford to heat their own homes.

And that bill is rising sharply. More than 20,000 people in dinghies have crossed the Channel this year alone. On Saturday, despite repeated promises by the Government to stop the trafficking, 607 people, mainly fit young males, made the crossing – the third time the daily total has exceeded 600 in 2022. A few will, of course, genuinely deserve to have their application for refuge taken seriously. But a significant number of them will have come from not-at-all-war-torn Albania - a situation that is hardly going to be improved by the Royal Navy's plan to withdraw from its role in charge of tackling Channel migrants.

Perhaps we could arrange a swap? You know, British criminals would seek asylum in lovely, safe Albania while Albanians come on holiday to crime-ridden UK. Could work.

Question for Home Secretary Priti Patel: How stupid and craven do we have to be before this dangerous farce is stopped? They’re laughing at us, you know.

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